You know what you are doing. We know what you are doing. So now that we all know that you know that we know let us discuss it.
DON’T BOTHER! Don’t bother telling your Bridesmaids any of the following:
“….and the good thing is you will be able to wear it again!”
“….and the good thing is that this cut looks good on anyone!”
“….and the good thing is this color looks good on everyone!”
Really? Where will anyone be able to wear this monstrosity again? Is this an episode of Dallas? Will I be able to wear it at the Oil Tycoons Ball? Will I get into a fight with a drunk Sue Ellen (oxymoron)? Does Vodka stain?
We all know that you are the pretty princess and everyone should be looking at you. NO ONE IS TRYING TO STEAL YOUR SPECIAL DAY! If they are, maybe you should examine your past behavior at the weddings of others. Are you sure they are no inappropriate speeches hiding back there?
Does no one ever think that making your “friends” wear ugly dresses makes you look like you have terrible taste? Calm down, it’s just a question! You are soooo pretty.
Not to worry, Bridesmaids will take solace in the fact that five minutes after the reception is over, said dress will be a cold, black lump of plastic in the trash can of their hotel room. Back from whence it came, eh!
Post Script- I am not the wearer but the one whose job it occasionally is to try to make one of these plastic sacks actually look good.